Happy Birthday Ria!!

She has been a friend ... she is almost like a elder sister to me. she is an amazing blogger who comes up with the most ingenious of posts, that make you think and leaves a smile on your face. Even though we don't get to talk much she holds a special place in my heart and my life, and is an invaluable addition to my blogging experience...

Wishing you a very happy birthday Ria

may all your dreams and desires come true...

here's hoping you the best in life!

Wishing lots of love and luck

*hugs*

~Phoenix~

To be a mother....

No matter how strong and independent we are..no matter how career oriented and carefree we are.. no matter how modern we are... a part of us yearns to be a mother someday.. to go through the ordeal just to ensure that growing little one within us is safe..to make the sky the limit for him/her... to give him or her the world... to experience the happiest blessing on earth...

I don't know the first thing about being a mother... but i know i want to be one...to able to hold and revere gods gift to cherish womanhood.. to be able to give birth to the little one, a symbol of love. i don't know if ever i will be a good mother... i don't know if i will be able to give up being paranoid about the whole giving birth process...but i know i want to someday...i will go through all the ordeal just to be a proud mom....

I know there are times when nature's bliss eludes us... but not always one has to bear a child to be a mother... rearing matters too.. people like Sushmita Sen should be applauded for being generous and having a heart of gold for embracing motherhood despite being single.. she lives the life on her terms and still manages to be a perfect example not only for her daughter and several others... it takes courage and a generous heart to be able to embrace a child as one's own... and kudos to people like Susmita Sen,Angelina Jolie, Madonna who have stepped forward to embrace a child and make a difference... 

Make a difference this mothers day.... salute motherhood and shed the superstition and prejudice against adoption... be generous...don't deny a child a future, open your heart and warm it up for a little one, be a proud mom.. whether adoptive,clinical or biological...

I'ts a blessing to be a mother... and I'm glad that God choose us to be the nurtures.. maybe motherhood among a few other things makes me feel that truly no matter how hard being a woman is.. its all worth it!! :)

Happy Mother's day!!

Breast Cancer

Very recently, my aunt was detected with breast cancer. initially she didn't notice the lump that had formed, but once she noticed it she had to consult a gyneac who asked for an autopsy done. she has been operated too and is now well. the reason why i mentioned this incident is because. this happens to every other women. women are prone to breast cancer, which is a curable disease, almost. the worse part is, we women don't take care of ourselves or we neglect our bodies. thus, it is important for every lady, or that matter men too, to know about this ailment which is very much curable. before going in detail about breast cancer it is important we know what exactly is breast cancer.

The term “breast cancer” refers to a malignant tumor that has developed from cells in the breast. Usually breast cancer either begins in the cells of the lobules, which are the milk-producing glands, or the ducts, the passages that drain milk from the lobules to the nipple. Less commonly, breast cancer can begin in the stromal tissues, which include the fatty and fibrous connective tissues of the breast.

Breast AnatomyOver time, cancer cells can invade nearby healthy breast tissue and make their way into the underarm lymph nodes, small organs that filter out foreign substances in the body. If cancer cells get into the lymph nodes, they then have a pathway into other parts of the body. The breast cancer’s stage refers to how far the cancer cells have spread beyond the original tumor (see Stages of Breast Cancer table for more information)

Breast cancer is always caused by a genetic abnormality (a “mistake” in the genetic material). However, only 5-10% of cancers are due to an abnormality inherited from your mother or father. About 90% of breast cancers are due to genetic abnormalities that happen as a result of the aging process and the “wear and tear” of life in general.

According to the American Cancer Society, any of the following unusual changes in the breast can be a symptom of breast cancer:

• swelling of all or part of the breast
• skin irritation or dimpling
• breast pain
• nipple pain or the nipple turning inward
• redness, scaliness, or thickening of the nipple or breast skin
• a nipple discharge other than breast milk
• a lump in the underarm area

These changes also can be signs of less serious conditions that are not cancerous, such as an infection or a cyst. It’s important to get any breast changes checked out promptly by a doctor.

How Do I Perform a Breast Self-Exam?

To perform a breast self-exam, follow the steps described below.

Enlarge image

Step 2 and 3 Enlarge image

Step 4 Enlarge image

Step 5 Enlarge image

In the mirror:

1. Stand undressed from the waist up in front of a large mirror in a well-lit room. Look at your breasts. Don't be alarmed if they do not look equal in size or shape. Most women's breasts aren't. With your arms relaxed by your sides, look for any changes in size, shape or position, or any changes to the skin of the breasts. Look for any skin puckering, dimpling, sores or discoloration. Inspect your nipples and look for any sores, peeling or change in the direction of the nipples.
2. Next, place your hands on your hips and press down firmly to tighten the chest muscles beneath your breasts. Turn from side to side so you can inspect the outer part of your breasts.
3. Then bend forward toward the mirror. Roll your shoulders and elbows forward to tighten your chest muscles. Your breasts will fall forward. Look for any changes in the shape or contour of your breasts.
4. Now, clasp your hands behind your head and press your hands forward. Again, turn from side to side to inspect your breasts' outer portions. Remember to inspect the border underneath your breasts. You may need to lift your breasts with your hand to see this area.
5. Check your nipples for discharge (fluid). Place your thumb and forefinger on the tissue surrounding the nipple and pull outward toward the end of the nipple. Look for any discharge. Repeat on your other breast.

   In the shower

6. Now, it's time to feel for changes in the breast. It is helpful to have your hands slippery with soap and water. Check for any lumps or thickening in your underarm area. Place your left hand on your hip and reach with your right hand to feel in the left armpit. Repeat on the other side.
7. Check both sides for lumps or thickenings above and below your collarbone.
8. With hands soapy, raise one arm behind your head to spread out the breast tissue. Use the flat part of your fingers from the other hand to press gently into the breast. Follow an up-and-down pattern along the breast, moving from bra line to collarbone. Continue the pattern until you have covered the entire breast. Repeat on the other side.

   Lying down

9. Next, lie down and place a small pillow or folded towel under your right shoulder. Put your right hand behind your head. Place your left hand on the upper portion of your right breast with fingers together and flat. Body lotion may help to make this part of the exam easier.
10. Think of your breast as a face on a clock. Start at 12 o'clock and move toward 1 o'clock in small circular motions. Continue around the entire circle until you reach 12 o'clock again. Keep your fingers flat and in constant contact with your breast. When the circle is complete, move in one inch toward the nipple and complete another circle around the clock. Continue in this pattern until you've felt the entire breast. Make sure to feel the upper outer areas that extend into your armpit.
11. Place your fingers flat and directly on top of your nipple. Feel beneath the nipple for any changes. Gently press your nipple inward. It should move easily.
    

Repeat steps 9, 10 and 11 on your other breast.

Interestingly, cancerous tumors are more likely to be found in certain parts of the breast over others. If you divide the breast into 4 sections, the approximate percentage of breast cancers found in each area are (in clockwise pattern):

• 41% upper, outer quadrant
• 14% upper, inner quadrant
• 5% lower, inner quadrant
• 6% lower, outer quadrant
• 34% in the area behind the nipple

Almost half occur in the upper outer quadrant of the breast, towards the armpit. Some physicians refer to this region as the "tail" of the breast and encourage women to examine it closely.

In the month of October, breast cancer is recognized by survivors, family and friends of survivors and/or victims of the disease. A pink ribbon is worn to recognize the struggle that sufferers face when battling the cancer.

I hope you find this information is useful. its better to be informed than to be ingorant and suffer. specially since women have the tendency to neglect, if we take care we can detect the problem before it becomes life threatning. look our for the symtoms and remember there is no shame to do so, it will ultimately help you. Spread the word, save lives.

for more information click here or here

Her First Time!

I always hated this idea of telling girls to behave themselves, to teach them the ways to behave and the things not to do etc. i thought it was making them do something they didn't themselves believe, its like asking them to give up their innocence. when i thought these things i viewed life from the way i was treated and not as the person, a guardian to their ward. i never knew that one day i will know what is to be a parent and a guardian and face the same situations as i had once faced but from different quarter. and that too as soon as this.

when a girl reaches her puberty she menstruates. it is natural and normal but to get adjusted to a common phenomenon isn't easy. i don't remember much about the time i first had it. all i remember is, i knew everyone is my class had it and i was among the last few. and i was almost pinning to have it as if to prove i was worthy. silly i know,but at 13 i knew what was coming my way and i was kinda prepared. so adapting to it wasn't easy. but now when i see my niece going through the routine but with a difference. she was totally unaware of what was coming her way, that i feel helpless and a lot grieved,after all she is my ward in my sisters absence [my niece is staying with me currently, most of you know i think :)] its just hard to see a girl flower into a young lady, to give up her innocence to mature and deal with life, to finally come to grips that life wont be the same, and this is going to be there for life. it cant be easy but there is no option but bear it up, but what do most of us do? give the little one a hard time. what i entreat you is to speak out against such atrocities if you spot one. the lil girl needs understanding, she needs advice and she needs lots of love and care; don't subject her to superstition and unholy comments on right or wrong, gently initiate her into the perils of womanhood.

still on the topic of menstruation or periods or chums... there are several atrocities and superstitions that ladies are subjected to sadly at the hands of their mothers and grandmothers who hand down age old beliefs and customs which become a matter of tradition and ritual after a period of time. but what we don't realize is there is a solid reason behind it all. like our mothers tell us not to enter kitchen in those days, the actual reason is, women folks usually don't get reason, at least on such a pretext they get some time off from daily chores but this has been twisted into a grotesque tradition of barring women from entering kitchen fearing her to pollute the kitchen. then there are other pet peeves like not sleeping on the bed. basically to avoid staining people preferred sleeping on the ground. but if you are aware that you don't stain yourself then you can surely sleep on the bed. but then we have seen cases where the girl is made to sleep on the floor, treated as an out caste because of those days, which is repelling and disgusting.

I must commend serials like BalikaVadhu for talking about sex,women rights, puberty and highlighting the plights of women and the anomalies that are committed against them, through such a huge media in hopes of dispelling popular discrimination towards women. its a rather bold but honest step, something that needs to be hailed as progressive and a beacon that will justify women's position to the male dominated society.

please feel free to share your experiences on your first time... and tell us your take on this...be bold... remember its natural and happens to all.. if you speak out you may just help another person to deal with such issues far better.

Happy Women's Day

Woman's Day Special
Ah! Woman

What can be said about that which has been proclaimed, 'Good,' by God, Almighty, Himself.

Born not from the dust of the ground, as man. Nor, as the fowl of the air. Nor, as the beast of the fields. Formed as flesh from flesh. Created in the Image of God. Molded by the tender, intimate hands of the Almighty, Himself. Quickened by His Breath. Alive with soul. Uniquely created for relationship with Man and God.

The 'crown of creation' bestowed upon 'Woman' cannot be measured by gold or gems. Her value far outweighs the most precious of them. Her virtues cannot be purchased. Her beauty, unsurpassed even by the most delicate of roses, cannot be captured on canvas nor molded in marble. Though many a gifted artisan has tried.

Her moods ever-changing as the ocean's tide. 'Woman' is fleeting. Able to only be understood by the God who created her. Woman. Most beautiful. Most glorious. Most creative of God's imagination, has been given the privilege to bear life from life. Creating from within the confines of her own sphere. Strength of iron flowing in her veins allow her to conquer agony. Overcome the rending, ripping pain that grips her as she expels life from her loins. Only 'Woman' can then reach between her own legs. Past the gush of water and blood. Bring to her breast. Life, to suckle, to fill with sustenance to grow.

Many a 'woman' have taken up the banner of 'Freedom' as man has failed mankind. 'Woman,' carries the burden of comforting. Soothing the fallen comrades. 'Woman,' unceasingly strives for the answer to man's disease. Compelled to stand at the side of a loved one as they pass from this life, to the land of everlasting. She stands firm in her vigil, never wavering from her duty. 'Woman,' buries her beloved fathers, husbands, and sons. Bears the burden of going on. Alone. Facing uncertainties with conviction she will survive.

'Woman,' weeps over the tyranny of the beast. Cries for the destruction of the weapons of war. Begs for mercy from a Merciful God. Pray for man to be delivered from the stench of death, the cramps of famine and the fever of battle. 'Woman,' embodied with the heart of courage can hold in the confines of her hands power to deliver compassion.

'Woman,' wears kindness and charity as ribbons of honor.

'Woman,' is proof that God extends forgiveness to a world lost in confusion and darkness. A woman's lips can bestow healing peace. The smallest of woman's hands can hold the hope of tomorrow. For in her arms is the security for today.

'Woman's ' need for man is only surpassed by man's need of ' Woman.' Without her, his life is incomplete.

'Woman,' initiates balance between the world and home. She establishes a haven of protection from the hurts and slings of this world. 'Woman,' a dreamer inspired by the colors, scents and sounds around her. She brings Glory and Honor to the Lord she loves. 'Woman,' blessed, is smiled upon. Often sent into the dredges of the world. Carrying His message of Truth. To witness of His Sacrifice. To love the unlovable. To embrace the unwanted.

A Woman raises her hands to worship her God from whence it all comes. Without thought of how it appears. Lifts her voice in song with her sisters around the world. Bringing tears to all who hear. Beseeching the world to join them in peace. Join them in spirit.

Built within the deep substance of 'Woman' is a desire to overcome adversities. To always finish better than she began. To improve what sometimes appears to be desolate. A 'Woman' can bring order out of chaos. Build a home from a hovel. Take the driest, stringiest cut of meat and turn it into a stroganoff. Soup can appear as if by magic from an onion, a potato and a handful of peas.

A 'Woman' is able to take a scrap of material and make a window dressing. Or, take a window dressing and turn it into a 'scrap of a dress.' 'Woman' brings decoration to each environment she inhabits. A paper plate, a cup of macaroni, a bit of ribbon and she creates a wreath. Give her a penny and she can pinch it till it screams. Hand her a dollar and she can stretch it till it almost tears.

'Woman,' with a tender caress can make a pauper believe he is a 'king.' 'Woman' can be a Friend, a Lover, a Mate. She's a Daughter and a Sister. She's a Wife, Mother and Grandmother. All manner of persons in one lovely package. A scene most precious, 'Woman' with a little child on her knee, wiping his tears and kissing his brow. 'Woman,' - unique - no doubt about it, not another creation like her since the beginning of time. Created to meet life's needs. Created to overcome life's challenges.

Ah, Woman! What can be said of that which has already been proclaimed, 'Good,' by God Almighty, Himself.

– Roberta Lee Wilcox
March 8, 2001

i came across this beautiful piece and i wanted to share it with all my friends. the link from which this was taken is here.

Here's wishing all you lovely ladies a very Happy Woman's Day!! keep you head held high! your virtues closer, arm yourself with self dignity and pride for who you are, and march forward towards that golden sunset. Jai Ho!

here is the link to Yamini's blog. she has written an amazing post on the occasion of Woman's Day. do check it out. :)

Valentine's day

Okay so the Sri Ram Sena is screwing the basic fundamental rights of our nation. women are unjustly and beaten up for attending pubs [read Mangalore incident] its sad and atrocious thing to have happened. those men should just be castrated and hanged till death. however, not all men are bad surely we all have loving fathers and naughty but nice brothers, great [male] friends and how can i forget handsome charming boyfriends, lets not forget the great men who outweigh the morons who dared to take law onto their hands and create a havoc with the lives of all those who choose to live life their own way. chal enough being said about all that. just don't let these slugs dampen your lovey-dovey mood, just chill maar and masti kar..

All those not in love yet, can pamper themselves. hey after all its day of love, you can love yourself right? go on girls, just have a blast and please, don't sit back and pretend this day doesn't exist or you are immune to such things. be a la madhuri dixit of dil toh pagal hai, and pamper yourself with chocolates and teddies, if not try the hair cut or a nice soak of warm water followed up with a home made manicure, for tips look out for our beauty segment from our labels. guys who still single, please id advice you not to jump the gun and propose the next girl coming your way, its too tacky, but hey you can short list her and propose to her at a later date and throw a dramatic dialogue- "i don't need a Valentine's day to profess my feelings for you.." I'm sure ladki maan jayegi :P nahi toh mujhey mat marna haan...please!! :P :D!!

And you love birds, throw caution to the air, be a lil uninhibited and share the moment of love, sneaking a kiss or two wouldn't be all that bad, and if you are okay with it.. you can go all the way.. hey I'm just suggesting... don't take offence, one must state options na... :D!! As for my plans? I'm going to test my cooking skills tomorrow, after all I'm going to prepare lunch for Samik. god help me! :D :P anyway, i just thought id wish all my friends in FEMME FATALE and all those who read and drop in their valuable comments regularly and consistently a very HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!! Have a rocking day and have fun! live, love and let love!! LD

Beauty care regime

I have never been too girlie in life. In childhood when often girls are made to put sandalwood and lep and uptan, I used to run about in the sun, with no care in the world. My skin got burnt, my long beautiful hair was often left open and exposed to dust and pollution. So the moral of the story is, better late than never. I don’t boast of a great skin, neither of a fair complexion nor of beautiful thick hair and not of height or figure. So I’m not really the one to impart beauty tips here but then there are a few things I learnt that helped me make the most of what I have, and all this is because I want to take care of myself and not because I need to look good for someone else. What we girls need to do is do things for the right reasons to keep ourselves happy.

I mean think of it. How many of us will stand in our bathroom looking at ourselves while taking a bath? Not many. Why? Because we are shy and timid and thinking of ourselves as people who deserve attention. Don’t get me wrong I’m not meaning this in a perverse sense but just trying to state a point here. When we try to groom ourselves, we do so because we want to look presentable and appreciable to the world and not because we want to. Here lies the problem. For once if we did what we wanted to do, or did it for the right reasons such problems wouldn’t come in the way for our progress. So here are a few things you can do to take care of yourself even amidst hectic lives, presentation at office, or labs and classes at college or even those final years of school. Young, old all can take best benefits of such home remedies that are not only cost effective but will save a whole day that most set aside in a month for that much needed time at the beauty parlors. and with Valentines Day just a week or so later, i guess everyone wants to do the extra bit to look great right? and for all those whoa re singles, look great because you are beautiful yourself not for anyone.. here everyone is happy :D

If you have a dark complexion or even fair to make it fairer, you can opt for basen. Now all you need is to get 100 gms of basen and can it. And every time before you go for a bath, make a paste of basen and water or milk, and apply it on your face and leave it till dry and wash it off. It helps to control excess oil on the face, makes your complexion lighten shades, and makes your skin glow. And don’t complain that you don’t really have all that time, for you can easily switch on the geazer, and while the water is getting warmed, you can apply besan do the ironing and arrange the clothes to wear and then wash it off, it is not time consuming at all.

For sun burns or dark patches on the face cut a segment of tomato and apply it on the face. Rub it on your face, elbows and knees until all that is left is a scrap of what you had taken. Leave it till dry and then wash it off. Tomato is natural bleach and makes you skin look really healthy.

For all sorts of marks on the face, whether it is remains of a pimple or some blister you have disturbed apply sandalwood paste, it works wonders and it can keep all the expensive cosmetics at bay.

For body care, take a day out when you have some time to spare, you can take maida and milk and make a paste of sorts and apply everywhere, knees, elbows hands feet etc. this helps you clean the dirt that always tend to settle down and make it presence felt.

For feet care, after a long day when you are reading a book or surfing the net or even watching tv or talking to a friend on the phone. Get water heated, put a few drops of shampoo and get a scrubber with a pumice stone. Let you feet get adjusted to the hot water [not lukewarm] for sometime and then scrub the heels with the pumice stone and soon you will see that the hard skin on the heels that leads it to cracks in winters are coming off with no special efforts. In no time you have a nice supple heel with no money spent on pedicures not just that, it helps you with blood circulation and relaxation of muscles and takes away your daily stress and fatigue in no time.

The methods mentioned above are not only inexpensive, less time consuming but are easy to do as well. So whether you are living in a hostel or home, you can afford to take time out and take care of yourself, not because you need to look acceptable to the world or that special someone but for yourself and your well being.

Valentines Day Special

Buying gifts are such a damn frustrating job that i cant tell you! specially if you are in a relationship for 4 and more years... with birthdays and anniversaries and not to forget Valentines Day thrown in lack of gifting items are something that totally does me in. In case you are a guy and reading this, yes you will too be rewarded to my best abilities on gifting ideas for women but ladies, don't fret i had some ideas up my sleeve for you too. READ, LEARN and DROP me some ideas too :)

Just For The Ladies: gifts for men:

Perfumes~a nice perfume may cost a lot but then if you think you can just go for it then perfumes make a good buy

Wallets~ they are useful and classy, a good leather wallet can come within Rs1000 and can do a bit steeper too but depends on from where you buy it

Watches~ Fastracks are a good idea, but if you are willing to shell out say 1500 onwards

Tee shirts~now most guys love brands, so if you are like looking for a tee to gift, first peer into your wallet and decide, a branded tee can come anywhere from rs800-1000 bucks, if not you can go for trendy caption tee's or get him printed one with you and his picture from customized shops like Preston,available in any malls

Shirts~ a good formal/satin shirts [for office parties or semi formal outings] come within 1200-1500 and that too in brands, if you are not a brand person formal shirts come in as less as 200.. so pick according to your pocket

Jacket~if he is the sporty types, a good jacket can be a good idea, specially since the end of season sale is on , so you may just get a good bargain.

CD's~ a mushy one may not be liked by him,so stick to his preference and gift him rock or metal whatever he prefers to hear

Ties- a good tie comes always handy, specially one doesn't really spend a bomb on things like ties, it wont be bad to get him a nice tie, you can always be naughty and suggest other uses of ties if the official purpose doesn't really impress him?! *wink*

Cufflinks~ these maybe are too formal but those whose guys are working, the use maybe sparse but the gift will be for keeps forever.

Rings~ if you are in a long term relationship, you can go for a mock engagement ring of sorts in silver its pocket friendly and can come within budget of rs 1000 and it is long lasting too

Books~ remember only to gift him books if he likes reading books and not because you want to gift him something you like reading..

Sunglasses~ they can be a great idea if he likes wearing them... Fasttrack does have a good collection

A small tip, if your guy is the sensitive kind he will appreciate hand made products, like cards, collage. book or other stuff but if he is not, DO NOT WASTE TIME to Make him something, most often guys are not that kicked by handmade products like we girls are, most likely they will just see it once, smile and then it will find its way to the bin sooner or later.

Now for the Gentlemen: gifts for the Ladies:

Stuffed toys~ these are a good bet, for almost every girl loves it. its a sure shot winner

Books~ most girls love books, you can choose from a huge array of genres btu buy something that she loves reading

CD's~ you can gift her the many compilations of love songs available in the market. or you could gift her the DVD of her favourite movie, say Jab We Met.
Mugs~ why a mug? well she could remember you when she drank her first cuppa in the morning, a nice thought to begin a day.. isn't it?

Costume Jewellery- you could gift her pendants or earrings or rings, in silver or metal, they are classy and who doesn't like a little bling now and then, gifting items like jewellery adds the personal touch to the gifts.

Clothes~ gift her something she wears, if she is a kurta person Fabindia or Khadi Rs 200 onwards is a good bet so is west side. for tee's you can opt for Westside, Pantaloons or Shoppers Stop. price starts from 199 onwards. if you the traditional types, a Saree wouldn't be a bad idea but depends if she is the one to wear them. and how you get her measurements is your headache not mine.. :P

Bags and wallets~ these are a rage with girls, the more the merrier; so even if you give her another bag or wallet she will always praise and appreciate you, you just cant go wrong.

Cosmetics~ buy only if you are sure of the brands she uses or if you can afford a branded one, because cosmetics are risky things because bad cosmetics gives rise to skin rashes and problems. now you don't want her to curse you for life, do you??

Now cards and chocolates and flowers are cliche but they are a great add ons, you can just use them too to just add the romantic element to the whole gift receiving experience. Guys can always make something for the girl, from baking a cake or writing a letter or making a card, girls love sentimental and customized things, so go out of your way to do something by yourself to show her that she is worth all the effort!

TIPS :-
~ if you are working and can afford to buy more expensive things then you can consider Ipods, Cellphones etc.

~But remember to buy things that he/she will like not what you would want him/her to have. and try and give gifts that reflect that you have given a lot of thought to the whole event and not just spent money on things to buy for an occasion.

CAUTION:

the author of this post doesn't take responsibility for any untoward experience, loss of money of valuables, bad buys or showers of abuses or bad reactions that may come your way. think before acting, these gifting ideas are relative can differ from person to person. :D :P

hey I'm in need for advice myself.. do you think you can suggest something for me? :)

What women want?

This is an excerpt one of Richa and my regular chats, the topic was rahter interesting and im hoping the girls will add their own pointers and guys will just note them down.mind you never before will you ever get to read such secrets thus revealed! A Femme Fatale exclusive!! :D

Raka: what do you think,we girls want in our guy?
want as in desires and expectation and wishes ?

Richa: foremost presentable

Raka: he should take care of himself

regular bath is a must

Richa: hehe

Raka: :D

Richa: n as in shave

Raka: a must

Richa: depends if i like him more in thorns

Raka: but wont that be rather scratchy?

Richa: then skipping shave is tolerable

Raka: i like my guy clean shaven..makes him look cute melts my bones
u know what i mean :P

Richa: some guys look better with thorns
yeah i now

Raka: true..like my hrithik roshan

Richa: but i like him more in thorns

Raka: what do you think of chest hair?

Richa: :D
i juz go mad over them
;)

Raka: o yea
i second you on this one
but not if they are like akshay kumars like a forest

Richa: i find them most appealin in men

Raka: nice sprinkles peeping from shirt lapels are cool

Richa: say anil kapoor is forest

Raka: yeah yea
dense growth is a no no

Richa: amitabh bachchan in silsila looks so sexy

Raka: ooooooo yeah
:D
i think i guy should know what looks good on him
like some guy to flaunt their physique wearing skin tight tees
i hate them

Richa: i hate that kinda species

Raka: broad men should wear shirts in checks with some buttons undone and sleeves rolled up
what say?

Richa: perfect for me

Raka: and smell?
what should he smell like?

Richa: not very strong
some sexy mild smell

Raka: id say smelly feet are a sure turn off and sure enough is a week old stench of undies and body wanting a bath

Richa: i love his smell

Raka: yeaaaaa
i second you...
some guys just bath in deo n perfumes
they should be subtle

Richa: ewe

Raka: n still on smells
mouth freshner

Richa: yeah

Raka: no onions for lunch/dinner if u r hoping for that kiss
Richa: the smell should b mild

Raka: yup!
lets talk about attribues of a man

Richa: yeah
i hate men who thread their eyebrows

Raka: yew
thats so girlie
i like them the way they are

Richa: n that makes them look even worse

Raka: there is a raw appeal to them

Richa: yeah
yeah
n see our choices match
;)

Raka: truely
hmm what do u look for in a guy richa?

Richa: as in nature?
well
he has to b witty
in the first place
n then
he must treat girls as equals

Raka: absolutely
this one is a MUST

Richa: i don't like pampering much
:D

Raka: yeah but we need it sometimes right?
like once in a blue moon?
coz my bf hardly bothers now that he knows im there for sure
i hate that
as in guys taking girls for granted once they know she is going to be there
the effort should be there throughout

Richa: the guy shudnt take the girl for granted and vice versa

Raka: yep!

Richa: i want him to be talkative

Raka: like you
:)

Richa: i aint na

Raka: huh?
:O :D

Richa: no way!

Raka: yeah you are the tigress
waiting to pounce
Richa: lolz
i'm lioness btw
i m leo by birth
;)

Raka: hehe
i want him to be funny yet reserved
i mean i hate guys who loose talk
and crack dumb jokes and say silly stuff

Richa: yeah
:D
yeah
i mean no senseless crap

Raka: yeah

Richa: :D

Raka: u know
i always wanted to fall in love with a friend
but once he became a bf
i would want him to treat me like a lady
no fooling aroudn hitting me or whatever

Richa: yeah
it happens
like wen u r frnz u can do silly things
but wen u go beyond being frnz
things change

Raka: yeah true

i hope we have given you a decoded excerpts from a woman's mind...more to follow..but not untill the next time...hope you enjoyed it!

Happy Birthday!!

Big day for us. Our 'partner in crime' the divinediu turns 18 today. Its even special cuz it is the first birthday on this blog too :D
So we decided to celebrate it with pomp and show, decorating the blog, have a party here, load her with all our best wishes and gifts.
We turn not older with years but newer every day. ~Emily Dickinson
Here is a wish for u..

Happy Birthday, Special Treasure

God gave a gift to the world when you were born—
a person who loves, who cares,
who sees a person’s need and fills it,
who encourages and lifts people up,
who spends energy on others
rather than herself,
someone who touches each life she enters,
and makes a difference in the world,
because ripples of kindness flow outward
as each person you have touched, touches others.
Your birthday deserves to be a national holiday,
because you are a special treasure
for all that you’ve done.
May the love you have shown to others
return to you, multiplied.
I wish you the happiest of birthdays,
and many, many more,
so that others have time to appreciate you
as much as I do.

~*~

The angels are- Anwesa, Harshi, Ria, Raka, Richa n Valencia;)

Here is the party!!

P.S. the poem courtsey By Joanna Fuchs

Spreading my wings!!

i want to run
don't clip my wings
i want to skip,dance and sing
don't just bind me and hold me back.

i want to run
with the wind in my hair
the sun on my face,
throwing caution to the air
dont just bind me and hold me back.

let me dream
feel happy within
let me sore above the mountain high
trust me for i will never let you cry.

love is stronger than unspoken shackles
faith and trust makes it formidable.
no one can escape the clutches of love
so take heart and be calm
don't just bind me and hold me back

i need to think
and breathe free
i want to love and still be me.
i want all this and still be yours if only you let me

Nari Shakti

Contrary to what the title suggests, this post is not about rebuking men . I think men bashing is so passé. Now since it’s a girl blog and we are all for nari shakti. In this 21^st century when we consider us equal to guys there are things I believe hold us back and make us aware that we may try and progress, but we never will in actuality for it is the mind that draws us back. It is the mind first that we need to conquer and train, otherwise I believe there is no use talking tall talks of progress and equality.

We girls need to free ourselves from cobwebs of prejudices and conventions, we must realize that there are certain traditions and rituals that we can do without and train our mind and body to think beyond that expected and from there a new lady will be born, someone who will move ahead and pave for all those who are yet unsure to step into a world that is waiting for us.

Our minds are such that not only do we fashion ourselves following our traditions and cultures, but we also instill the same prejudices and superstitions in the minds of ur younger counterparts. When I was about 10-12 years old my mother called me up and said young girls shouldn’t play on the streets it gives a very wrong impression to the world. And this is what probably we will tell our nieces, sisters or other relatives. But why? A child deserves to play along with education, she needs to run around, have fun and grow. But no in the name of convention we put shackles on the little girls restricting them to move about.

Those five days which every girl goes through is far from easy. Despite our body being racked with spasms of pain and cramps, with an alien object making its presence felt in the most private of places. In such extreme conditions we carry on our daily activities, we do to work, schools and colleges, we play, and run, swim and god knows what not. But when it comes to seeking some solace at home, often women are subjected to alienation in the hands of her own mother, who bars the daughter from going into the temple, food is flung in plates away from the usual eating area. Hygiene is a must I agree but why ill treat a girl for something that is not her doing?

Instead of explaining to the young girls, that she must keep quite about the molestation she has had to endure and not spread the word. Why don’t we warn our girl child that most of the molestation happens first at home, to be alert and to raise alarm in case of such cases and not keep mute and let the perpetrator roam free?

There are a lot of things that a girl is taught as she is growing up. She learns that she must not behave in an overtly friendly manner with the male counterparts, she must not roam about in a gangly uncouth way, she must be poised and graceful and she must bear whatever comes her way etc. but as mothers or elder sisters we must ensure that the tonality and the way we say such things should not have adverse effects on the young girl or she maybe scarred for life. Take for example this friend of mine, we were just in our teens and needless to say we were developing physically and at that time we hardly knew the right from wrong, or the correct way to move about. Her mother once accused her of enticing people, behaving atrociously in a slutty manner and welcoming voyeurism, all because she was wearing a tee which was earlier loose but since she had grown had become tight and no one had advised her not to wear such things or just how and what to do in such cases. And the girl was scarred she felt something was wrong with her, she hated herself and felt guilty of something she didn’t understand fully well. This feeling of sinning didn’t leave her until quite late when she had to seek help at school for it led to low confidence and insecurity and poor grades. We must realize as elders we must use our discretion to part a lesson in the best possible way so as not to make the child uncomfortable or uneasy and surely not to scar the child for a lifetime.

Here are just a few examples and there are many more. What we need to do is judge for ourselves the conventions we are blindly following, if practically they are worth it we should follow it but never if it makes no sense and is doing more harm than good. And we must remember just because we have suffered it, it is not necessary that people after us deserve the same fate. Realize and act, prevent another you from suffering. We are the nurturers and we can do it if we try.