Sunday, January 4, 2009

Nari Shakti

Contrary to what the title suggests, this post is not about rebuking men . I think men bashing is so passé. Now since it’s a girl blog and we are all for nari shakti. In this 21st century when we consider us equal to guys there are things I believe hold us back and make us aware that we may try and progress, but we never will in actuality for it is the mind that draws us back. It is the mind first that we need to conquer and train, otherwise I believe there is no use talking tall talks of progress and equality.

We girls need to free ourselves from cobwebs of prejudices and conventions, we must realize that there are certain traditions and rituals that we can do without and train our mind and body to think beyond that expected and from there a new lady will be born, someone who will move ahead and pave for all those who are yet unsure to step into a world that is waiting for us.

Our minds are such that not only do we fashion ourselves following our traditions and cultures, but we also instill the same prejudices and superstitions in the minds of ur younger counterparts. When I was about 10-12 years old my mother called me up and said young girls shouldn’t play on the streets it gives a very wrong impression to the world. And this is what probably we will tell our nieces, sisters or other relatives. But why? A child deserves to play along with education, she needs to run around, have fun and grow. But no in the name of convention we put shackles on the little girls restricting them to move about.

Those five days which every girl goes through is far from easy. Despite our body being racked with spasms of pain and cramps, with an alien object making its presence felt in the most private of places. In such extreme conditions we carry on our daily activities, we do to work, schools and colleges, we play, and run, swim and god knows what not. But when it comes to seeking some solace at home, often women are subjected to alienation in the hands of her own mother, who bars the daughter from going into the temple, food is flung in plates away from the usual eating area. Hygiene is a must I agree but why ill treat a girl for something that is not her doing?

Instead of explaining to the young girls, that she must keep quite about the molestation she has had to endure and not spread the word. Why don’t we warn our girl child that most of the molestation happens first at home, to be alert and to raise alarm in case of such cases and not keep mute and let the perpetrator roam free?

There are a lot of things that a girl is taught as she is growing up. She learns that she must not behave in an overtly friendly manner with the male counterparts, she must not roam about in a gangly uncouth way, she must be poised and graceful and she must bear whatever comes her way etc. but as mothers or elder sisters we must ensure that the tonality and the way we say such things should not have adverse effects on the young girl or she maybe scarred for life. Take for example this friend of mine, we were just in our teens and needless to say we were developing physically and at that time we hardly knew the right from wrong, or the correct way to move about. Her mother once accused her of enticing people, behaving atrociously in a slutty manner and welcoming voyeurism, all because she was wearing a tee which was earlier loose but since she had grown had become tight and no one had advised her not to wear such things or just how and what to do in such cases. And the girl was scarred she felt something was wrong with her, she hated herself and felt guilty of something she didn’t understand fully well. This feeling of sinning didn’t leave her until quite late when she had to seek help at school for it led to low confidence and insecurity and poor grades. We must realize as elders we must use our discretion to part a lesson in the best possible way so as not to make the child uncomfortable or uneasy and surely not to scar the child for a lifetime.

Here are just a few examples and there are many more. What we need to do is judge for ourselves the conventions we are blindly following, if practically they are worth it we should follow it but never if it makes no sense and is doing more harm than good. And we must remember just because we have suffered it, it is not necessary that people after us deserve the same fate. Realize and act, prevent another you from suffering. We are the nurturers and we can do it if we try.

7 blandishes:

Richa said...

nice post..

u know wat.. the things u r talkin bout wat we have went thru, from home, society n such, these are the mindsets of old people, must have noiced, our grandmothers are more into these stuff but coming down to mothers, they r way less..

these eveil of society have been there for past 1000 years or so n therefore it isnt easy to release theose shackeles at once..

since we have now to an extent realised tht these things are rubbish and got nuthn to do with our growth or development and we are not meant to remain inside the four walls, we can give our nexter generations a free-er environment..

Harshita said...

It is an impressive post, Raka.

I have been thru the phases of abuse n all so I can relate to this. Thankfully, my mom is gud frenz with me and we shared it all and my parents never blamed me for watever happened to me ever.

I will always respect them for this.

I really hope tht in our generation, we will be gud parents who wud be able to balance concern and restraint both.

Mithe said...

We can all identify with it Raka-at some point or the other, we all have faced this.
I will tell you a recent example-I was standing on our balcony in the sun just like that(our house is in a lane, not even on the main road).My tayaji come s by and says get away from the balcony, girls don't stand on the balcony! I was flabbergastered-I mean, our house is in a lane, no traffic, not even anybody else.How can you restrict me like that? and what is sad is my sis is not stopped from anything(she is studying in mangalore(BDS) and comes just twice a year for two months). Well, just because I stay at home,am not in a hostel and have not taken up medical stream, I will subjected to this subjugation? Its demeaning...anyways good post Raka

Trinaa said...

jai ho nari shakti ki! :)

yamini meduri said...

it feels like hell at times to be a girl...and for some one like is a bad time always. adding to it, my health problems make me more worse.
but still, at times, i feel great for being like this. atleast koi tho hai is duniya mein hamari jaise....but after reading your post, i understood that it happens with everygirl and i am just a drop in the ocean.
and dear, the surveys say that girls are the happiest beings on Earth...sick thing...what do the surveys know about the pain a girl heart feels...???

good post dear...this blog rocks...!!!

Amrita~Ams said...

Damn phoenix u rock !

nari shakti.!tang tanaaaaa....(*read sound effects :p)

Ria said...

well written babe!and it was a very meaningful post indeed.